Money may be able to buy love however fighting over it will bankrupt a relationship. We must come to the point where we must wonder if the relationships we choose are for love or for money.

One of the common threads each marriage shares are the vows made at the altar before God… “for better or worse and for richer and for poorer”.  Theses words sound good until life happens and the commitment you made is staring you back in the eye through “worse” and “poor” experiences.

The lyrics of songwriter Gwen Guthrie, “you have to have a J-O-B if you want to be with me, “ain’t nothing going on but the rent,” “No romance without finance” still rings true in the attitudes of a growing segment of relationships today. Replaced by phrases like “bills, bills, bills, can you pay my bills” and others like “ I can do bad by myself, “ suggest that the notion of love is not enough in a relationship. This reiterates the question. Are relationships for love or for money.

These suggestions compiled on top of the highest bankruptcy rate in the United States history during the worse economic times since the Great Depression have resulted in many vows once said in a tearful confession of love are now torn apart by the stress and worry of money or the lack thereof.

Money may be able to buy love, however fighting over it will bankrupt a relationship. Fifty-seven percent of the divorced couple’s cited financial problems as the primary reason for divorce when interviewed, according to Jet Magazine on November 18, 1996. The state of Tennessee recently was the number one state in bankruptcy and the number two state in divorce. I believe they are related. This indicates the best way to mismanage a relationship is to mismanage money. Again, I ask is it for love or for money?

As a result, there are three things one must consider before advancing a relationship to the next level: Family, Faith, and Finances.

  • Family: How will we raise our family and children?   What core values will we build our foundation? How many children would we like to have? How will we discipline those children?
  • Faith: What God do you serve? Do we agree in our religious beliefs?
  • Finances: What are your financial goals? What is your plan to obtain your goals? How is your credit? Do you budget? How much do you save? What are your shopping habits? Do you tithe? How will we manage our finances in our relationship?

Finances must be discussed and a plan to manage them set in place in order to have a healthy and successful relationship. Although each relationship will be managed differently here are five principles to consider when setting the way you will handle the finances in your relationship.

  1. Our financial plan is designed to help us (the relationship) no to punish or hold power over a particular person.
  2. There is no your money and my money but now it is/will be our money.
  3. We will set financial goals that will advance our lives.
  4. We will maintain a monthly budget that will ensure we meet our goals.
  5. We will not break our budget unless both parties have agreed.

With these five principles, you will be able to bring harmony to your matrimony through financial fidelity. So when you ask yourself, should a person get married for love or for money? Well, the answer is both.  Although it should be more love than money.